he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
