You can't special order awesome
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize