i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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