drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
