We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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