also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I think my moral compass just broke
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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