This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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