you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize