I'm so fucking centered right now
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
