Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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