pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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