So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
