We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
