the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
