Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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