Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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