k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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