32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
