Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
