I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
