My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
We need a shit load of segways right now
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
