My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize