Non-Jews are for practice
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
