There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
do nipples grow back?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
