my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
