btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
