Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
