Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
