He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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