they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
