that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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