just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
