then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
