THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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