Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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