I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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