i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
