I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
All I want is dick and wine.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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