yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
