do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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