Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
