If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
love makes seman taste better
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
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I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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