a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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