She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
You were trust falling into bushes
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize