she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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