so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
