im about as happy as oj after his trial
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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