im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
