It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
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