if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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