Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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