Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
You made out with two different species that night
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..