You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way