Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
