Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Randomize
