i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
