yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Randomize
