You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
