hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
