"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize