What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
