there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize