dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
how drunk are you?
Several
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize