Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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