Duck Duck Cougar?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
