This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
