You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
