i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize