You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Randomize
