you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
