for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
