Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
