covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
