Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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